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You caught my eye clear across the bar, that's a hell of a walk
What's a girl like you... (hiccup)
My sign is... (hiccup)
Umm, enough small talk
This joint's too loud and crowded, I can tell you agree
So I'm gonna take you home and make you like me
No, come here a minute....
Did you ever get the feeling like you're stuck on something at first sight?
Like you're warm all over, what the Germans call "kimuglichich"?
You're a hot little chicky, I'm a handsome stud, you do the biology
Now I'm gonna take you home and make you like me
Yeah, I'm gonna take you far from here
Out of the valley of the shadow of fear
And up to a higher place, where you belong
So sail away in my S.U.V., and get closer to the "real" me
Then you'll see your first impression's oh, so...
(Wrong! You're routine's all rusty, it's not working, trust me
In fact you disgust me, you drunk hillbilly
I just smiled in passing, now stop your harassing
And finally, one last thing...)
No! Don't say it! I couldn't stand to see you...
(Well, then sit down)
Well, you know you're the cutest little thing that's walked in here, honey?
(Oh, that's original)
Hey, Joe, here's a 20 dollar bill. Give the little lady anything she...
(Hey! What's that there on your left hand?)
Oh... well... That's an old war medal if you must know, now listen,
You probably don't realize I'm a big, important fella
(You're a big important something, alright)
Yeah, I'm down here from Chicago on... Warner Bros... division...
Scouting for... new Country talent!
And I think you've got just the look we're looking for...
(Oh, yeah, so does every other girl in this bar)
Why don't you just take my business card, here, in case you...
Hold on, let me fish...
Oh, son of a bitch!
Uhh, let me see...
Car key, credit card, my house key, my... Hey!
Here's a duplicate house key.
Now why don't you just hold on to that in case it ever comes in...
(You know what, I don't think I'm gonna need it)
Oh, come on, just put it in your pocket...
Come on, take it, take it, take it, take it, take it!
I'm gonna take you home, little honey
I'm gonna take you... Hey, bartender!
Where's the tab? I wanna settle up now
You stay right here, I'm gonna vomit
You're gonna love my great big dick
I'm gonna take you home...
(You fast-talkin', slow-thinkin' gin-guzzlin' hound dog!
You are so drunk you have forgotten that we's married!)
Really? Oh... Well... In that case...
I better take you home and make you like me