Lyrics

• Young Gladys Was A Silky Maiden

• At Thirteen, She Was Going Strong, Yeah.

• Oh, Gladys.

• Nicely Filled Out, Fully Laden,

• But Down Below There Was Something Wrong, Yeah.

• Oh, Gladys.

• Nobody Told Her About The Secrets

• That Ladies Have To Hide

• Mom Had No Words To Describe The Things

• That Happened Inside.

• Need Someone To Help Me,

• I Feel That There's A Curse On Me, Oh.

• Went Down Into The Local Disco,

• For What Used To Be The One Night, Yeah,

• Oh Gladys.

• Felt A Searching Hand To Frisk Her,

• Along The Legs Of The Water Line, Yeah,

• Oh Gladys.

• Now Gladys Knew She Was In No Condition

• In No Mood To Play

• I Cracked A Knee In Her Soft Spot, Nothing

• Had Got In Her Way.

• I Want No One To Touch Me,

• I Feel There's A Curse On Me, Oh.

• Directed Down To The Local Drugstore

• Got Fixed Up, Now She's Doing Fine, Yeah

• Oh Gladys

• Equipped With Various Kinds Of Apparatus

• You Know The Feminine Hygiene Kind, Yeah

• Oh Gladys

• Must Have Been A Man To Do These Things

• Who Won Her Fall From Grace

• That Day He Programmed Me

• [that Lady Programmed Me?)

• You Should Have Seen The Smile On His Face

• He Said ``you'll Need Someone To Help You

• When You Feel Like Cursing Me'', Oh.